In honor of World Breastfeeding Week

First to answer a few questions:

1) Do I have kids? Yes

2) How many and how old? 2 that are 6.5 months

3) Do I breastfeed? No

4) Do I support breastfeeding? Yes

5) Do I support public breastfeeding? Yes

6) Do I support breastfeeding without a cover? Yes

7) Do I support breastfeeding as long as the mother feels is necessary? Yes

I imagine most "lactavists" would read these and say "It's so wonderful that she supports breastfeeding and all it's glory, but what a shame she doesn't breastfeed her babies." Unfortunately, there is one very important question missing from this list.

8) Why don't I breastfeed?

Now, I could give you the simple answer and say "I tried, but it didn't work out," but I'm afraid I would still look like a mom who didn't try hard enough. So I feel obligated to explain myself.

Let me list the reasons why:

1) My girls were born prematurely.

2) They had low birth weights.

3) Elly had trouble learning to suck.

4) Elly had some digestion issues the first few days.

5) They are twins.

6) I had a very stressful end to my pregnancy.

7) They stayed in the NICU after I was discharged from the hospital.

8) If you've never had to leave your newborn child at the hospital and not be able to bring them home with you, you can't imagine what that does to your psyche. = stress

9) I had a very dehydrating illness for 3 days only a week after my girls were born.

10) I had an infection in my c-section incision site that required 2 different antibiotics and 2 weeks to get rid of. One of the antibiotics was passing to the girls and causing diarrhea, something they couldn't handle at their size and age.

11) We had a very well-meaning, VERY helpful house guest the first 3 weeks of our babies' lives. Unfortunately, this added to my stress level because I felt the need to be the host.

12) I had extremely low milk production. I tried pumping more often, pumping after cuddling with my girls, pumping after failed breastfeeding attempts, pumping every 3 hours, and pumping shortly after I was 'empty'. Unfortunately, the most I ever produced at one time was 2 ounces between both breasts. (I later found out that my having PCOS was a major part of my extremely low milk production.)

So 3.5 weeks after my girls were born, my husband and I decided that straight formula would be best for my health and the health of our children.

That being said, I would like to say the following to avid breastfeeders:

I do not breastfeed. I'm okay with this now, so I ask that you be okay with it too. It took me a while to realize that I did what was best for me and my family. I didn't just give up, I tried everything except medication. Please understand that there are more people than you know, men included (because our men are part of this too), that don't breastfeed but fully support those that do.

There are many people, that i'm sure you are aware of, that don't support public breastfeeding. I think this should change just as much as you do, but putting them down, yelling at them, and flat out being rude to them is not the way to solve the problem. Let me ask you, how did you know that breastfeeding was the best way for you to feed your child? Education. We should educate these people! Please also keep in mind that mass public opinions don't change over night. This particular fight has been growing for over 20 years. I remember seeing a mother breastfeeding her child in a library when I was in 1st grade. She was asked to go to the restroom or leave. Breastfeeding mothers have more rights now than ever, we just have to let people know about them...peacefully. Many women have been comparing this fight to that of segregation. Although I don't agree with that analogy, let's go with it for a second. When laws were changed to force companies, schools, bars, and even churches to allow 'non-white' people access, not all of them did. Yes there were repercussions, but eventually, with increased education we have all learned that no matter the color of skin, we are all actually the same.

Unfortunately, we can't change the minds of millions over night, but we can continue to educate. That is the point of World Breastfeeding Week.

Now I'll get off my soapbox and just say this: to people who breastfeed - keep up the good work! to people who don't breastfeed - you're doing a fantastic job! to people with or without kids who support public breastfeeding - keep being wonderful people! and to people who don't support public breastfeeding - we'd all love to talk to you about it, find out what your objections are, and see if we can't reach some common ground